By HENDRI YULIUS WIJAYA
Translated By EDWARD GUNAWAN
Content warning: Some offensive slurs that appear in the source text have been carried over into the translation.
Translator’s Note
Fueled by far-right nationalist politics and religious extremism, persecution and violence from both state institutions and the general public against queer and trans Indonesians have reached unprecedented levels—mirroring similar disturbing patterns worldwide.
One of the few openly queer writers writing in Bahasa Indonesia and from Indonesia—the world’s most populous Muslim country, Hendri Yulius Wijaya has courageously spoken out through extensive articles and commentaries on Indonesian queer movements and anti-LGBTQ+ panic over the course of his career. His debut poetry collection Stonewall Tak Mampir Di Atlantis (There’s No Stonewall in Atlantis), published in 2020, represents an extension of his on-going activism and continued resistance.
As a fellow openly queer Indonesian who is also of Chinese heritage (a minority community in Indonesia that has faced discrimination and persecution), I feel a deep personal connection to his poems, and I hope that my translations of his unique perspective and powerful work will reach a broader international readership.
— Edward Gunawan
Poems appear below in English and the original Indonesian.
Evolution of a Sissy
the perfect place to learn hate is school.
backpack compartments rent out cabins to
shame and fear who both can’t wait to gift out
rubber erasers. while indulging in fantasies to reincarnate
as a flagpole, in the hope of not collapsing easily. also, to quickly dry oneself from the urine
of his best friend who feels most legionary. from underneath a PE shirt,
chewed-up gum still damp with drool slow-crawled inside a desk drawer. startling
Sailor Moon from a blissful nap with the Masked Tuxedo along the lined
handwriting notebook. time and again his math teacher grounded him in the courtyard to lower
the level of his sissyness. the head sister chanted his name in prayer to thwart
him from playing too frequently with girl classmates. long before he’s enamored with the word
feminist in college, he whole-heartedly believed in Kartini as a symbol of liberation.
and on one Kartini Day, he deliberately donned a kebaya with high heels.
full name on the front cover of his books morphing into: The Sissy.
from there:
all of the sissy, fag, and tranny that rained upon them ended
up flushed along the corridors
having successfully made themselves over on a catwalk. the fear and shame vanishing
into the black hole
of a neighboring salon’s rental hair bun.
who the hell knows where David Guetta and Sia are.
Evolusi Banci
tempat paling sempurna untuk belajar membenci adalah sekolah.
saku-saku ransel menyewakan bungalo bagi
malu dan takut yang tak sabar ingin menggado
penghapus karet. sembari berangan-angan menjelma
tiang bendera, ia hanya ingin berharap agar tak gampang rubuh. juga, biar cepat kering sendiri
dari air kencing karib lelakinya yang merasa paling jagoan. dari balik kaus olahraga,
bekas permen karet yang masih lembab liur merayap ke dalam laci meja. dan mengguncang
Sailormoon yang lagi asyik tidur siang bersama Tuxedo Bertopeng di dalam
buku halus kasar. guru berhitung sesekali menyetrapnya di halaman agar kadar kebencongannya
menyusut sedikit. suster kepsek merapal namanya dalam doa agar
berhenti bermain terlalu sering dengan anak perempuan. jauh-jauh hari sebelum ia kesengsem
dengan kata feminis di bangku kuliah, sesungguhnya hatinya telah memercayai Kartini sebagai
simbol pembebasan.
pada satu hari Kartini ia sengaja memakai kebaya dan hak tinggi.
digantinya seluruh nama di sampul depan bukunya: Si Banci.
dari sanalah:
segala kata bencong, banci, dan wadam yang dihujani padanya berakhir berserakan
di sepanjang koridor
yang sukses menyulap diri jadi catwalk. malu dan takut mampus
dikunyah black hole konde
rental salon tetangga.
David Guetta dan Sia entah sedang di mana.
Why Not Married Yet?
at a reunion
faces smelling of rancid canned milk
and lips that orgasm too rarely
never tire in reminding you
that breast milk is far more nutritious than formula
even though who the f*ck cares
as long as you still can chew on those pacifiers
while shooting down spaceships with a PlayStation joystick
and the ghosts of unborn fetuses
who’d overdosed on morning-after pills.
Kenapa Belum Menikah?
pada sebuah reuni
wajah-wajah bau kaleng susu tengik
dan bibir-bibir yang sudah terlalu jarang orgasme
tiada capeknya mengingatkanmu
kalau susu asi jauh lebih bergizi daripada susu formula
padahal peduli setan
selama kau masih bisa menggigit-gigit kenyal empeng
sembari menembaki nyamuk-nyamuk dengan joystick playstation
bersama hantu-hantu jabang bayi
yang overdosis morning after pill.
Hendri Yulius Wijaya is the author of Intimate Assemblages: The Politics of Queer Identities and Sexualities in Indonesia and the co-editor of Queer Southeast Asia. He has also authored and co-edited several other books that range from academic essays to creative non-fiction and short story collections. For his long-term engagement with LGBTQ+ rights and sustainability issues, he was invited to deliver the 2023 Tomlinson Memorial Lecture at the Nottingham University in the UK. Stonewall Tak Mampir di Atlantis is his debut full-length poetry collection. For more, you can visit his Instagram @hendryulius.
Edward Gunawan is a queer Indonesian-born Chinese writer and literary translator. Recipient of Lunch Ticket’s Gabo Prize in Literary Translation and Multilingual Texts and author of two chapbooks—most recently the Start a Riot! Prize-winning The Way Back, they graduated with a Distinguished Graduate Achievement Award from San Francisco State University’s MFA in Creative Writing program. Their work has also appeared in Asymptote, TriQuarterly, and West Branch. Visit addword.com and follow him on IG (@edward_gunawan) for more.
