How to Detangle a Bird Caught in Your Hair

By HOLLIE HARDY

First you have to have hair. This trend toward baldness negates the problem.

Once you have grown a luscious mane, gather images on your lion tongue: ripe peaches, sizzle of bacon, crisp campfire scent of an almost winter night, handful of rain or feathers or marbles, the details of sunset, and and fast cars. Weave your materials carefully. Remember that birds like shiny things. The colors and flavors you choose may affect the type of bird you lure into your hair-nest.

It helps to know what you’re looking for. The hummingbird is popular due to its size and general friendliness. The swan is elegant but angry. Loons, pelicans and ostriches are obviously to be avoided.

With patience, you will eventually find a bird snarled in your hair. It might not be the bird you initially had in mind. But give it some time. This one may surprise you.

Protect your eyes and face as you attempt to pet the iridescent feathers of your albatross or owl. Avoid wearing a hat. In the event that you tire of this entanglement, the following options are available:

1. Tenderly cut the bird away like a piece of gum from a child’s hair.

2. Start a small fire on the back of your head and begin to run.

 

 

Hollie Hardy is an MFA poet at San Francisco State University, former Editor-in-Chief of Fourteen HIlls: The SFSU Review, and co-host of the monthly reading series Saturday Night Special, an East Bay Open Mic, in Berkeley, California. Her recent work is published in Eleven Eleven, sParkle & bLINK, A Sharp Piece of Awesome, Parthenon West Review, One Ded Cow, Transfer, Milvia Street, and other journals. Hardy’s Survival Poems have titles ruthlessly appropriated from The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook.

How to Detangle a Bird Caught in Your Hair

Related Posts

Image of train station

E.A. Robinson Leaves by Rail

ABBIE KIEFER
Raw granite and brick, hip roof like a helmet. At its height, it hummed: seventeen trains daily, lumbering in along the river. I imagine E.A. here with his ticket and his trunk. With his back to the brick, listening for a whistle.

Cihu Memorial Sculpture Park

Cihu

ADAM DALVA
One of my life’s regrets is skipping the Cihu Memorial Sculpture Park when I was in Taiwan. ... I spent a week wandering Taipei… but all along, I was thinking about Cihu. I’d researched the park before my trip, but my host said… he’d rather show me the art and night-life of his city. I was twenty, night-life susceptible.

Woman examines leaf

Providence

DARIEN HSU GEE
On the side of the road near our home on the hill in Waimea, a cluster of perfumed yellow ginger, Hedychium flavescens, also known as cream garland-lily or ʻawapuhi melemele.